So as painful as it was to accept, I managed to walk away as instructed. For example, a grandparent might chastise the abusive parent for their poor behavior, and end up being screamed at for interfering. Like every person needs a punching bag, a narcissistic parent needs a scapegoat. I once had a housemate who was the scapegoat of her family and moved across the country to get away from them. tell the other people in your life any lie. I am so sorry for anyone else who has experienced anything like this. They turn on the charm to do this. I was in a way sort of innocent. If youre in the loop, they will tell you something that is designed to sabotage your relationship with these people and undermine any future contact. They infused that false self-image with imagined ideals that every child aspires to be. The wrongdoings of others are projected onto them. Really only , rather miraculously did I have a you tube video offered to me about the scape goat. Many times, a narcissist will use scapegoats to project their anger. After all, an entire family cant be wrong. But he took his frustration over this out on me constantly and I had no clue why??? The rotation can make things especially confusing for children- they never know if it will be a good day or a bad one. That means the scapegoat may remain in that role indefinitely. Its possible for the main abuser to manipulate the remaining family members into believing that the abuse they are now experiencing is because the scapegoat left, which is a form of triangulation. At a very young age of 5 years old, l wanted to be the opposite of my father cause at a very young age I knew something was wrong with his personality. Alternatively, they remind the abuser of aspects of their personality/past that they despise. But I can tell you from personal experience that there is no more worthwhile process in the whole world. Theres no doubt that healing from narcissistic abuse can be heartbreaking and complicated. They are all enmeshed with each other and I live on opposite side of the country. If anybody could plug into my brain like a computer and plug the connection into their brain; they would run down the street with their brain on fire. They both died and I have been left devastated. Stepchildren, fostered children, or adopted children. What Happens in the Scapegoats Family or Among Coworkers? Since theyre no longer being tormented day and night, they have the opportunity to live for themselves. Even though she was the golden child, never ever punished, given only praise while I was mercilessly scorned, put down and blamed for every problem of every member of the family, my sister felt an overwhelming rage towards me. They have internalized so much toxic shame that they feel a constant sense of pain. Can A Narcissist Ever Talk About Their Feelings? Life is not easy. and blame for something they have not done. Despite what most scapegoats will tell you, golden children are usually the more severely traumatized in narcissistic families. Fortunately my abusers are now dead and I have no contact with their problem offspring. And they facilitated keeping her secret rather then face it and face criticism for her problems as a public school teacher. Everyone these days thinks their arrogant boss or the ex they hate is a narcissist. He fought back and said he was insulted and the discussion is over. When one scapegoat escapes, another must be found, however, because the narcissist cannot admit to making any mistakes. Both the scapegoat and the golden child suffer as a result.